Disclosure: As a BetterHelp affiliate, we receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided.

The decision to become a surrogate is a deeply personal and altruistic choice, allowing individuals to help others experience the joys of parenthood. Surrogacy involves carrying a child for intended parents who are unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy themselves. 

While the surrogacy journey is filled with hope and excitement, it also comes with unique challenges and responsibilities. One essential aspect that requires careful consideration is the mental and emotional well-being of the surrogate. 

This article explores the question, “Can you be a surrogate with depression?” and delves into the various factors and considerations surrounding surrogacy for individuals experiencing depression.

Understanding Surrogacy and Its Impact on Mental Health

Surrogacy is a compassionate and life-changing journey where a woman, known as the surrogate, carries and gives birth to a child on behalf of her intended parents.

This noble act allows those struggling with infertility, same-sex couples, or individuals unable to carry a pregnancy to experience the joys of parenthood. 

While surrogacy can be an incredibly rewarding experience, it also comes with emotional complexities that require careful consideration.

Surrogates develop a unique emotional connection with the child they carry, which can lead to profound feelings of attachment and responsibility. 

Understanding the potential emotional impact of surrogacy is vital, as it involves not only the surrogate but also the intended parents, who may have their emotional journey throughout the process.

The Role of Mental Health Evaluation in the Surrogacy Process

Mental health evaluation is a critical aspect of the surrogacy process, designed to ensure the well-being of all parties involved.

Surrogacy agencies and intended parents often require potential surrogates to undergo a comprehensive mental health assessment before being matched with intended parents. 

This evaluation is not meant to disqualify individuals based on mental health history but rather to ensure that surrogates are mentally and emotionally prepared for the demands of surrogacy.

The evaluation is typically conducted by qualified mental health professionals, including psychologists or therapists with experience in reproductive health and surrogacy.

During the evaluation, the surrogate’s emotional readiness, coping skills, support network, and understanding of the surrogacy process are assessed.

Open and honest communication is encouraged during the evaluation, as it allows the mental health professional to gain a deeper understanding of the surrogate’s emotional well-being.

The evaluation also provides an opportunity for the surrogate to ask questions, express any concerns, and receive support and guidance.

Can You Be a Surrogate with a History of Depression?

Image Credit: healthline.com

If you are considering becoming a surrogate and have a history of depression or a current depression diagnosis, it is essential to carefully evaluate how it may impact your ability to proceed with the surrogacy journey.

Surrogacy involves emotional complexities and unforeseen challenges, making a stable mental state crucial for coping with the journey’s demands.

While many women effectively manage depression with the help of antidepressants, some surrogacy professionals may require surrogates to refrain from these medications for up to 12 weeks.

This precaution is taken to minimize potential risks to both the surrogate and the baby she carries, as well as to ensure the well-being of the intended parents.

If you have a history of severe depression or a current diagnosis, it is unlikely that you will be eligible to become a gestational carrier.

However, if your depression is situational, such as being related to pregnancy and postpartum recovery, and you have successfully treated it, you may still be considered for surrogacy.

Surrogacy professionals conduct thorough screenings, including a psychological evaluation, to assess every prospective surrogate’s mental health history and concerns.

If your depression has been effectively treated, and you are no longer relying on antidepressants, you may probably proceed with your surrogacy journey.

Ultimately, the decision will depend on the policies and guidelines of the surrogacy professional you choose to work with.

Honesty and transparency about your mental health history during the screening process are crucial to ensuring the well-being of all parties involved in the surrogacy journey.

Can You Be a Surrogate If You Take Anti-Depressants?

To become a surrogate, it is typically required that you refrain from taking antidepressant and antianxiety medication for at least 12 months before commencing the surrogacy process. This means that if you are currently on antidepressants, you would not be eligible to be a surrogate.

Intended parents are in search of a healthy gestational carrier who can provide the best chance of a safe and successful pregnancy.

While research indicates that antidepressants do not cause birth defects, approximately 30 percent of babies born to mothers on antidepressants experience neonatal adaptation syndrome.

As with any medication, there are potential risks to a developing baby, and intended parents may be cautious about exposing their child to any unnecessary risks.

Consequently, many surrogacy agencies and fertility clinics have policies disqualifying prospective surrogates who are currently taking antidepressants. 

The Importance of Stable Mental Health during Surrogacy

Surrogacy is a significant commitment that involves physical, emotional, and psychological demands. Maintaining stable mental health throughout the surrogacy journey is essential for both the surrogate and the well-being of the child she carries. 

Stability ensures that the surrogate can provide a nurturing environment for the developing baby and cope with the emotional challenges that may arise during the process.

Surrogacy can be emotionally demanding, as the surrogate may develop a strong emotional connection with the baby she carries. Surrogates must have a solid support system in place, including understanding family members, friends, and mental health professionals. 

Open communication with intended parents is also essential, as they play a crucial role in supporting the surrogate’s emotional well-being. Additionally, surrogates should have a clear understanding of the potential emotional challenges they may encounter during the journey. 

This includes managing expectations, dealing with any feelings of attachment to the child, and being prepared for potential medical and emotional complexities that may arise during the pregnancy.

Managing Stress and Emotional Challenges as a Surrogate

Given the emotional demands of surrogacy, managing stress and emotional challenges is paramount for surrogates. Stress management techniques can help surrogates cope with the responsibilities of pregnancy and maintain their mental well-being.

Practicing self-care is essential during the surrogacy journey. This involves making time for relaxation, engaging in activities that bring joy, and seeking emotional support when needed.

Regular exercise, meditation, and mindfulness practices can also help surrogates reduce stress and stay mentally grounded.

Surrogates should be encouraged to express their emotions and discuss any feelings or concerns they may have with their support network or mental health professionals.

Bottling up emotions can lead to increased stress and anxiety, whereas open communication allows for emotional release and a sense of relief.

Mental Health Support for Surrogates

Recognizing the significance of mental health during the surrogacy journey, many reputable surrogacy agencies prioritize mental health support for their surrogates.

These agencies often have mental health professionals available to provide counseling and therapy throughout the process.

Surrogacy agencies may also offer support groups where surrogates can connect with others going through similar experiences.

These support groups provide a safe space for surrogates to share their feelings, seek advice, and receive emotional support from individuals who understand the unique challenges of surrogacy.

Furthermore, mental health support does not end with the surrogacy journey. Post-surrogacy counseling and support may be available to help surrogates navigate the transition after the birth of the child.

Mental health support for surrogates goes hand in hand with the overall well-being of the surrogate and the success of the surrogacy journey.

It allows surrogates to manage stress, process emotions, and maintain a positive outlook throughout the experience, ultimately contributing to a healthier and more fulfilling surrogacy journey for all parties involved.

Support and Guidance with BetterHelp

Online counseling platforms like BetterHelp can be a valuable resource for surrogates, including those with a history of depression.

These platforms offer the convenience of accessing mental health support from the comfort of your own home, making it easier to balance the demands of the surrogacy journey with personal well-being.

Using BetterHelp or similar online counseling services allows surrogates to connect with licensed therapists who specialize in various areas, including depression and reproductive health.

These therapists can provide valuable guidance, coping strategies, and emotional support throughout the surrogacy journey.

One of the benefits of online counseling is the flexibility it offers. Surrogates often have busy schedules, which can make it challenging to attend in-person therapy sessions regularly.

Online counseling allows for more convenient appointment scheduling, making it easier to fit therapy sessions into your day.

Moreover, online counseling platforms offer a degree of anonymity and privacy that some surrogates may find comforting.

This can be particularly important for those who wish to discuss sensitive emotional topics related to their surrogacy journey or past experiences with depression.


The decision to become a surrogate is a deeply personal one, and individuals with a history of depression should carefully consider their emotional well-being before embarking on the surrogacy journey.

While being a surrogate with depression is possible in some cases, it requires thoughtful consideration, open communication, and a strong support system. 

Mental health support throughout the process is crucial, ensuring the well-being of the surrogate, the intended parents, and the precious life being carried.

With the right preparation and support, surrogates with depression can navigate the journey with compassion, empathy, and a commitment to bringing joy to others.


Are there specific mental health evaluations for surrogates with a history of depression?

Mental health evaluations for surrogates are common during the surrogacy process, but the extent of the evaluation may vary depending on the surrogacy agency and local regulations. 

Surrogates with a history of depression may undergo a more comprehensive mental health assessment to ensure that they are emotionally prepared for the surrogacy journey.

These evaluations aim to assess the surrogate’s mental health stability and her ability to cope with the emotional demands of being a surrogate.

Will my depression history affect my relationship with the intended parents?

Open communication is key in any surrogacy journey. It’s important to have honest conversations with the intended parents about your mental health history and any concerns you may have. 

This can help establish trust and ensure that everyone is on the same page regarding your emotional well-being during the pregnancy. Many intended parents appreciate surrogates who are proactive about their mental health and seek support when needed.

How can I manage my mental health during the surrogacy journey?

Surrogates, especially those with a history of depression, should prioritize their mental health throughout the surrogacy journey.

This can involve regular check-ins with a mental health professional, maintaining a strong support network, practicing self-care, and being open with your surrogacy agency and intended parents about your emotional well-being. 

Remember that seeking help and support is a sign of strength and can contribute to a more positive and successful surrogacy experience.

Additional Posts:

  1. Can Bioidentical Hormones Cause Depression
  2. How Does Spravato Help Depression
  3. Can a Life Coach Help with Depression
  4. How To Find Your Passion When You Are Depressed
  5. Does Suboxone Help with Depression



Therapists that Understand You!

Find a therapist that fully understands ALL of you. Speaking with someone who has a similar cultural background and view on the world can be very comforting.

Find a Therapist that get YOU!